Today is my birthday, and for those of you who are curious, I turn 22 today! I know a lot of you are so surprised to hear that I’m only 22 years old and how the heck do I have a business?
I’m totally just kidding, I know I look my age and I love this age! Today I turn 32!
My thirties so far have been really eye opening as I become more thoughtful and aware in life. Focusing in on what my dreams and goals are, saying more no’s to things that I don’t want to do (I’m really good at it, too), following my intuition with furniture and with people/situations, and it’s been a couple years of working on myself through self-development. It’s hard digging down deep and figuring out why I am the way I am with things that don’t seem to bother others – especially when it comes to things and emotions that are blocking me from getting to my goals. I do tend to self-sabotage myself at times but lately have been catching it quicker and snapping myself out of it.
My twenties and before that, I felt like I was a walking zombie just coasting along not knowing what was going on, not “here” yet. I spent a lot of time partying and drinking, especially my early twenties. Been there, done that. I’m so different than I was when I was that lost person. I’m so thankful for Steve who came into my life at the right exact time at age 23.
I love that I’m self-aware. I think it’s one of my best qualities. I don’t mean to sound self-absorbed in this post at all and obsessed with myself, I just have this deep awareness of myself and the people who come into my life. An empath, as I’ve been told. It’s a blessing but also a curse sometimes – especially when I don’t understand why people can be cruel. HOW. That’s the part about it I don’t like. Other people seem to be able to shake things off so easily, for me, I have a tougher time with it. “Have a thicker skin” they say. Well, I have definitely gotten a lot better at it in this business because the nastiness I see on social media is jaw dropping – but I’m becoming more used to hearing the same old, same old.
For those nasty angry people out there, there are 100 amazing ones. And that’s just how life goes. This happens with every type of business and public figure, it’s not just me or the business I’m in. This year I’m going to really focus and love on the ones who are here for it, who love and appreciate this business I am pouring my soul into. I do this for my own true happiness and creativity, so much love goes into what I do because I feel like I need to share it with the world. For those who are not there for it, they can quickly just move along. But I know you who is reading this is not that person. Thank you for being here!
I’m so proud of myself this month for taking the leap and bettering myself on a level I’ve wanted to for years, I just was lazy and scared of the work I knew would be put into it. Changing your eating and drinking habits is probably the hardest thing to do and change. I’ve had a dream to lose this extra weight I’ve been carrying and get back to how I feel on the inside and how I vision in my mind. The best version of me. I know it’s just an appearance and it’s not who I am on the inside, but my happiest, most ideal version of me that I vision and dream of, does not look like this. This is (well, was) the person who eats junk because she is too busy to care for herself, barely eats any vegetables or anything healthy, is stressed out to the max, and drinks a whole lot of booze to cope with stress. It’s a vicious cycle.
This photo is taken TODAY on my birthday, November 9, 2019! I haven’t been the person mentioned above since starting this new journey a little over a month ago and I’ve been on a really good path. Today, I looked in the mirror at my face and I don’t have pimples, my skin looks quite radiant, I’m even going to skip foundation for my birthday festivities today. I feel like for the first time in years, I’m confident in the way my face looks. I had a bout of adult hormonal acne that started a few years ago, I used to be the clearest skinned girl, I was so angry when it came about out of nowhere in my late twenties/early thirties. Here’s a photo of me in summer 2018 with my sister. She probably wouldn’t like knowing I posted this pic haha!
I think this healthy journey is really working for me. I’m less stressed, I’m happier, I’m not drinking very much, if so it’s just a drink or two every few days which is so much better than it was. I’m enjoying all of my food that I prepare for myself. I don’t feel at all like I’m depriving myself which I would absolutely hate. I’m adding a ton of vegetables and extra plant based protein which I feel is a big part in my radiant looking skin. I’ve lost 8 pounds in one month which I’m sooo proud about. I haven’t done rigorous exercise, just focused on what I was eating. This is definitely not a diet by any means, I’m just learning to prepare healthier more conscious meals that I feel good eating instead of ravenous a couple of hours later. I listened to my body when it was starting to feel frazzled and stopped right there. I didn’t take on too much. I didn’t push myself too hard. I trust that everything that’s meant to be for me will fall into place with a good amount of effort while still enjoying what I do. I will not let outside influences of what others want for me to do have any part in what I want for myself and my big dreams. I trust in what’s yet to come.
That was deep, wasn’t it? I think I need to do a verbal combustion every now and then.
I hope you all have a great weekend – great long weekend you Canadians! Want to know what I WON’T BE tomorrow morning after my birthday? Hungover. YAS! Cheers to the new me!